Marital relations
by Charles Bertelsmeier
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Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect … so that nothing will hinder your prayers (1 Peter 3:7).
Read 1 Peter 3:1–12
If you read all 12 verses of today’s reading, you will find:
- six verses on the responsibilities of wives
- one verse on the responsibilities of husbands
- five verses on ‘suffering for doing good’.
My task is to select a verse or two as the basis for my devotion. So, challenge number 1: Am I – a man – going to talk about the duties of wives to their husbands? (That would be brave.) Challenge number 2: Is someone who has had a failed marriage leading to divorce going to give advice on marriage? Or I could take the easy way out and talk about suffering for doing good – but I haven’t had much experience in that.
Well, the God of second chances (and of third, fourth and fifth chances) decided to give my current wife and me a second chance – 34 years ago. But before that, he worked in our individual lives to deal with a whole lot of issues that first needed fixing. Obviously, one of these was growing our trust in his love and guidance. Another was to be in a position where we didn’t need some other human to complete us. Living on our own for six years did help that. But it meant that when we were married, we could concentrate on giving to our partner to grow and fulfil them rather than drawing from them to complete ourselves. Yes, we still had a lot to learn, and, at times, there were hurts and tears, but the security in God’s love for us and his loving guidance helped us through.
God has given us marriage and families to help us understand the relationships he wants to have with us. God doesn’t want a relationship with us to get something from us to fill one of his needs. Instead, the relationships he desires to have with us are all about giving – including giving himself for us. Our relationships with our fellow human beings are to be modelled on God’s relationship with us.
One important comment: If you are in an abusive relationship, there is no way I am suggesting you put up with it out of love for the abuser. However, I am not qualified to give advice and recommend you seek help from those qualified to give it.
Loving Heavenly Father, help us grow in knowing you and your love for us so that we learn how to love the people you placed in our lives with that same love. Amen.
Charles is a retired engineer who has worked on communications projects for the air force, army and navy. He lives in retirement in the outer north-western suburbs of Sydney with his wife, Diane. They have four children and eight grandchildren, all of whom they love spending time with. He keeps himself busy looking after their pot plants and the community vegetable garden, researching his family history and volunteering in the community and at LifeWay Lutheran Church.
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